Raining day, Emo day

well, obviously this is another emo post again.

i started my sem 4 about 7 weeks ago and of course i had encounter some CAL quiz as well.
well, maybe this year is really not a good year for me, i score not as good as what i scored last time.
for the first quiz, i score B.
this makes my mentor wanted to meet me personally because her other mentees all scored A!!!
A!!! is A!!!!
WHY???
i worked so hard for the first quiz and i think is easy for me, but end up i scored the worst among other mentees.
am i really that bad?
when i telling this to my friends they were saying that just let it be, dont let a small thing ruined ur life.
maybe they don't understand me well, i take it very seriously on grades actually.
maybe you can say i kiasu, but i would say 这是给我自己的交代。
我对我自己有一定的要求，只是你不明白我自己的要求而已。
别告诉我不要比较，不比较哪来的进步？
Due to no feedback session for the 1st quiz, this makes me even worst because i have no idea which questions i got wrong and make me score B.
Even one of my friend also got shocked when i said i score B. Cause i rarely score B in quiz.
BUT, i scored a lot of Bssss in these few quiz.
I dont know what happen to me recently
I really did my best in everything
I did self study, i did group discussion, i did my own notes, i did revise at least 2 times before exam and yet i cant score well in just even quiz.
WHAT ABOUT FINAL EXAM???
This makes me so stressful when i think of it.
And this makes me think that did i enter the wrong course?
but i chose this on my own and there is no way for me to regret now.
i really love this course, but i really dont know i suitable or not.
This course needs a lot of application of our knowledge which i am super weak in it.
Anyone can help me or teach me how to apply what i have learn?
I guess no one can help me except for myself.


I really dont know what happen to me during this semester.
I just wanna pass every semester safely(if can with my desired cgpa as well). I dont request much.
I will do my best in everything, i will try not to be lazy anymore.
God, please make my wishes come true. Please. I beg you. Please.
and please make 2015 year good to me. I dont request much, just be good to me. 我只想平平安安，顺顺利利地过完2015，仅此而已。谢谢


~Ginny~
~5.00pm~